Very Dirty Feet

I have had some very dirty feet days but I think this one may have topped them all. There was dust in my mouth and eyes so thick my eyes burned and my teeth felt coated. It was Monday and my 3rd day in Nairobi, Kenya. The first 2 were spent getting a feel for the city, the church, my host family, and preparing for the week ahead. As we toured the city over the weekend we saw the downtown with it's high rises and the affluent neighborhoods with their mansions. Then as I thought of the apartment I was staying in with hot water and reliable electricity, I could not have been ready for the complete opposite I would witness on Monday. The day started with a 4 plus hour walking tour of Kibera, the second largest slum in Africa. Nairobi has many slums in fact about 60% of the population live in the slums but Kibera is the largest.

Kibera Facts:
Approximately 1.5 sq miles - the land is government owned yet someone is charging rent
Population: between 800,000 and 1.2 million
Average Home: 10 ft x 10 ft
Average Home Population: 7
Electricity: 20% of homes
Water: untreated and only available sometimes (according to one resident about 3 days / wk there is water)
Drugs/Alcohol: very widely used
Unemployment: 50%
Sewage: 1 latrine per 50 households - once the latrine is full it is emptied into the river that runs through the slum
Pregnancy: 50% of women age 16-25 pregnant at any given time. Many as a result of rape - it is estimated 1 women is raped a minute in Kibera.
HIV: rates are high across Kenya but women are at a 5x greater risk of infection

So we walked around this place for 4 hours and we could have kept going and going and still not seen it all. We walked up and down hills, over some very questionable bridges (where I had very vivid images running through my head of me taking a sewage river swim), across some still functioning train tracks (no warning system mind you), and leapt across running sewage. The slum is composed of 13 neighborhoods and they vary greatly by socioeconomic status as well as people and language groups. Some of the areas had paved walkways wide enough to fit a cart and reliable electricity so much so that people had televisions. Then some are far worse off, these areas seem to be located on the steepest terrain and in the deepest valleys.

The government is trying to slowly change and relocate the slum by building concrete high rises and slowly relocating people. These high buildings although composed of very small apartments have proper sanitation, running water, and electricity. This sounds good in theory but they have found that the people are moving back to the slum quickly after being relocated. One resident of Kibera said to me "why would I live up in those high rises when I could rent out my high-rise apartment for double what I pay in Kibera, then I have money in my pocket and food in my stomach." Someone else I spoke with said many are not comfortable in this new setting, it takes them away from all they have ever know. Generations have lived in Kibera.

There is lots of work being done in Kibera. The Nairobi Baptist Church (NBC) runs a clinic in one of the muslim neighborhoods of Kibera. It has taken lots of time, sweat, and tears but it is now well respected in the community and doing some amazing work. They are also starting a church after a bible study took off. Originally with 5 members, meeting one evening in the clinic about a year ago is now up to 300 people. Outside of NBC and work being done by the local church there are tons of Non-governmental organizations (NGOs) operating within Kibera. We had the opportunity to tour a couple of schools that are completely NGO sponsored and they were very nice. In fact they estimate there is 1 NGO in Kibera for every 10 households.

As I stood up on the top of the hill where these new buildings were located looking down over the vastness of Kibera, I wondered what is the solution? Is there a solution? Who is to say how these people should live? And on the other hand something clearly needs to be done. But the truth is many people are trying. The government and the innumerable NGOs along with the local church. It all felt so useless and helpless as I stood there just staring out. I must admit I felt angry as I thought of the huge amount of resources being poured into this place and the corruption and mismanagement and waste, as many of the resources simply disappear. These are the times I cling to Isaiah 55:8-9 "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways." says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth. So are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts."  I know I could think on this all day and talk it over with the greatest big thinkers of this world but none of that could add up to a solution without the One who is Greater, the One who knows intimately each of those million people. He knows their thoughts and worries and even the number of hairs on their heads. I am so thankful that He is He and I am not. He sees it all and yet I can cry out to Him in frustration when I am looking out over this city and He will lovingly comfort me all the while continuing to hold the whole world in His hands.

* Images from google images

Kenya

God has placed another amazing opportunity before me. This time it is a bit different. I am traveling with a group of 20 from Park Community Church in Chicago through March 20th. Now you might be wondering why Kenya, that is one of the wealthier countries in Africa as well as one of the most reached by the gospel. I wondered that myself. Park Community has partnered with a local church in the capital, Nairobi Baptist Church. The churches are quite similar; both located in an urban setting and financially well-off with a congregation comprised of young professionals. Neither church "needs" the other. Both have a vision to spread the gospel to unreached areas on the continent of Africa. God in a unique way has brought the two together with a vision of partnership and a future of moving into a neighboring country such as Somalia or the Sudan that is less reached.

This partnership is less than a year old and this trip is a first. So this trip is mainly a relationship building trip. There will though be good work to be done while there. The team will be split into two once we arrive, half staying to work within the city and half traveling to a coastal rural village. Nairobi has a well established medical clinic within the Kibera slum in the city. This slum is the second largest in Africa with possibly a million people living within its boarders. The clinic operates full time and those of us who stay in Nairobi which includes myslef will be helping supplement those who work in the clinic. The other group will be traveling to a coastal village named Kwale. Nairobi Baptist has been taking a team here yearly for the past 10 years, and this year they have been given some land on which to set up a medical clinic / pharmacy. We will be helping establish this clinic and possibly aiding in a medical clinic for the school children in the area. Both Kwale and the area of the Kibera slums we will be working in are primarily Muslim and this is the reason that Nairobi Baptist has chosen to focus on these areas.

God has brought together a great bunch of people and I am excited to see what He has in store for this upcoming week.

Out of my hands...

Right now I feel like this phrase describes everything in life. If you know me at all you know I like to stay in control. I don't give it up without a fight. But the circumstances of life are currently teaching me a lesson about things I cannot control.

The Danja Fistula Center is opening in early February and my heart and mind are there with the project but my body is very far away. I know God has me here for this time and has blessed the project there with very capable hands but I still feel removed. I am planning a trip to Kenya which is keeping me distracted along with finishing school but my heart is still yearning to be there with the ladies at this exciting time. Please keep in your prayers the center as it opens. Here a links to blogs from my two dear friends who are already on the ground preparing for the grand opening and the next 6 months of work there in Niger. Ashley Sellars  and Sarah Walker. 

So here I am in Chicago and planning to graduate from my Nurse Practitioner / Midwifery program in May! This is contingent upon me delivering 30 babies by the end of April and it seems that for the last 2 months the babies are on strike. I need to get about 1 delivery a week and I have been getting 1 a month despite putting in lots of time at the hospital. Now I suppose I had better get used to this as I have chosen to delivery babies for the rest of my life but just for the next 3 months I really wish they would cooperate and come out on demand. I currently am at 8, but these each have been great. Being a labor and delivery nurse for the past 5 years I knew I enjoyed this work but I wasn't sure I would like being the actual one to catch and have this added responsibility. I have found it to be such an honor and hope that my future life consists of helping many women through their birth process and even possibly teaching others to do the same. 

All of this said about this lack of control really became much clearer as I sat in church this evening and listened to the message. I was reminded so clearly that all of this is not about me. God doesn't need me in Niger right now and God knows exactly when each and every one of those next 22 babies will come into this world, all I need to do is stay focused on Him and the rest are all details He already has in control. 

"Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart fail; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

Psalm 73: 25-26 

 

Lonely for the ladies

It's been two days now since they danced. Since the 12 of them stood there in the brand new hospital all dressed up in new clothes with necklaces they had each made by hand. I hope I can hold onto the memories of that day like I do right now.

To memories like that of the oldest lady of the bunch putting on her own dance show right in the middle of the ceremony, swinging her hips a little extra and simply stealing the show after sharing her testimony of how after 30 years of leaking she is finally dry. She is this sassy old women who stole my heart, as I fear I will be just like her when I am her age. Every time she saw you she would call you over often by name pronounced in her own unique way with a  little scowl on her face. She wanted her pot emptied or for you to do this or that, whatever it was that she thought was so important at that moment. Her unique name pronunciations have now given my good friend Kathleen the nickname of Kapleenchy which I plan to use for the rest of her life! Once she got your attention she was not letting you go until you got it right even if it was 3 in the morning. Then once you had accomplished her requested task she would just beam a big smile of praise. Dealing with a little extra sass was worth every second as I watched her dance.

Then there was the memory of another lady whose little girl won you over with cuteness as she worked so hard at remembering our names and then shouting them loudly to get our attention even from across the compound. Every dress ceremony is filled with more than a couple potty breaks, but for women who haven't been able to go like the rest of us for the past however many years it is a welcome interruption. Well mama took her first potty break by walking to the bathroom but then decided she wasn't going to miss the action so the next time she just went right there in the room in a little pot tucked behind a bed. Just as she went she realized the other ladies were headed over to shake the doctor's hand and to show him their gratitude and so she quickly jumped up and ran over giving everyone in the room a laugh.

Lastly I hope I never forget the smile and look of joy as I caught the eye of and gave a quick wink to our smallest patient of this trip. She found some physical healing but also some spiritual healing and the truth and power of Jesus in her short time with us.

It has only been two days but I find myself missing them already.

Freedom to dance

I don't know what it is about these ladies that makes me feel just a little bit more free. When in my day to day life back at home I find myself a little more reserved and I hold just a little more back. But here with the ladies I make a fool of myself with motions and facial expressions just to get a point across with overcoming the language barrier. My Hausa is still kudunk kudunk (small small). I let myself dance and laugh and giggle just a little bit easier. Today was visiting hours on the ward and we had all the ladies family members come in. We got all the patients out of bed and into this room with a few benches. We had a radio with some local praise cassettes and we turned the music on and had a great time. The ladies led us in some dances that mostly consisted of shuffling around in a big circle and spinning around every few beats. Then we decided to show them some white girl dancing which ended up consisting of country line dancing, the macarena, and the hokey pokey. They thought we were crazy but we all laughed until our sides hurt. These women who by our western standards and even by their own cultures standards have nothing, they are the lowest of the low but they seem to teach me everyday a little more about life, resilience, happiness, and laughter.

Can I go home yet?

Before I left for this trip I found myself selfishly fighting this feeling of wishing it was over already. I felt this way because I knew that at some point I would get to my breaking point where I feel completely and utterly exhausted and frustrated. I can't even find the right words to describe that feeling, I just feel done. This point came after 5 days of working long days in the heat and 2 nights of very interrupted sleep with trips to or calls from    the ward. The one good thing about getting to this point in the trip is that I then get over it. I found  some space, talked to God, and took a nap and now I find myself on the other side of the mountain and I like it here. The surgeries are done, there is time to play games in the evening, time to dance, make necklaces, and sit outside with the ladies. Time to breathe. I love this time when you realize why you pushed so hard. God teaches me a lesson in those times. He reminds me that He is the one carrying me, I am not strong enough to simply push through as I often fool myself into believing. I need His grace and strength to fight my way to the other side of the mountain.

Potential

As I first stepped into the completed Danja Fistula Center, where back in March it had been just walls with unfinished rooms now there was a hospital. There stood a clinic, an operating room, a ward! I walked around this big empty space and just felt in awe of the potential of this place. Lord willing this will be a place of healing. In time it has the potential to help hundreds and then thousands of women that will walk into this place in search of a new beginning. My prayer of dedication for this place is that it will be exactly that, a place of healing for bodies and for souls. As we got started working for the first time in this facility we found as with any trial run many kinks; sinks that leak, fuses that blow, things that don't work, and a very confusing system of a different key for every one of the more than 30 doors. As I sat and thought about this new place and all it's problems and how they are trying to hide the potential it made me think of how we are as humans. God created us in his image and then in our humanness and sin the kinks come out and they try to obscure the potential and hinder the good we are capable of accomplishing. We sin and break down and turn away and we break God's heart. But hallelujah this is not the end of the story, Jesus died and rose again and his blood covers our imperfections. I believe that despite the trials and struggles of this first week that this new hospital can reach it's potential even with the bumpy road ahead. I know that at least for the 12 women that we operated on with this trip that they did find hope here in this place. They found laughter and friendship and healing and that is a great starting point.