4 a.m. or 10 a.m. ???? I just don't know

When I work the overnight shift, I usually do pretty well until about 4 a.m. then I hit the wall and until about 5:30 my body screams .... you should be sleeping!

So the first day of surgery started early for me with the alarm at 0600. We have 4 surgeries today and in order to get them all in we need to start at 8. So for me this means I need to get down to the ward and get the first patient ready. She needs a shower and an IV and time for the IV fluid to get in. I am greeted warmly as I come around the corner into the ward at 0630.

I make it to 1000 and the first patient is in the operating theater and the next two are ready and here comes the wall. I feel like it is 4 in the morning ... wait it is 4 in the morning or at least it is on the other side of the world where I usually lay my head. But here in Danja it is 1000 and hot and muggy and quiet and my body is saying sleep! So while I have a quick moment I lay down to close my eyes for a quick rest on the bench in the ward and the minute I do the patient returns from surgery... it's ok this is her 3rd attempt at having her fistula fixed and it is time to get back to work.

It is good for the next 3 ladies that this lady with previous surgeries went first, she isn't nervous about the process she just takes it all in stride and with a smile. She even takes it upon herself to help explain what will happen to the other ladies and demonstrate for them some of the things we ask them to do in preparation for surgery.

One of the other ladies who is next for surgery was anxiously watching on as the lady next to her had her IV started. The whole time she watched her neighbor, I was watching her face. Her face read fear. As a nurse I don't even think twice about these things I consider routine everyday procedures. But for especially these patients this may be their first time ever in a hospital or to see an IV needle or a blood pressure cuff and the inside of an operating room. How crazy scary this must be for them and how much trust it must take for them to let us... these people they don't know, that speak a different language, and are a different color come in and take control from them and then trust us to care for them. As the IV is finished on her neighbor she looks up and catches my eye, I smile and she giggles like she was caught cheating on her fourth grade math test. Fear will not rule for today she is taking this chance for hope and as I write this her surgery went well and so far she is dry!

African Sun

There is this distinct feeling that comes over me when I take that first step off the plane into the hot West African sun. It's this hard to describe moment of yep I'm here. One of the team members asked me in the car from the airport if my heart was tied to West Africa and as I thought about it for a moment the response that came was my heart is fully tied to VVF and caring for these ladies. So far West Africa has given me the opportunity to do that but I think I would be happy wherever doing whatever so long as I am doing something to serve these women.

Screening day started very early before 6 with the small flight from Niamey to Maradi and then the drive to Danja. When we arrived we found the ladies waiting for us, approximately 40 of them and some of them had been waiting for us for two weeks. They were waiting for us under the big shade tree (pictures to come soon). We were greeted in a whirlwind of Sannu (hello in Hausa) and handshakes and giggles.

It was after lunch when we got started but we hit the ground running, screening all 40 women. Screen day in a word is exhausting. More then the jet lag and dehydration and the heat, it is emotionally draining on me. We saw these 40 ladies and had only 18 surgical spots. The silver lining in this here at Danja is that we are building this clinic to stay and be a permanent thing here so we are not saying no to these women we are just saying not right now.  So with all 18 spots full surgery starts bright and early the next morning.

I do not like breakfast at midnight

So the road to Danja well more like the airplanes to Danja came in 4 parts. Chicago to New York - New York to Paris - Paris to Niamey (capitol of Niger) - Niamey via 6 seater (including pilot) SIM missionary plane to Maradi (second largest city in Niger) - then finally a drive to Danja.  The big time change comes in the flight to Paris. These flights are always this strange disorienting night in fast forward. They feed you dinner, shut the lights off and tuck you in for a nice nights sleep, then a couple hours later, around midnight turn the lights back on break out the coffee and serve breakfast. This always brings up this great dilemma; sleep or coffee.... sleep or coffee.... I choose sleep! Then you land and get off the plane and everyone is alert and just starting the day and its annoying... so I went in desperate search of some coffee and paid like $5 for basically a double espresso and milk. It helped but even more than that finally seeing all the team as we met up at the gate to board the flight to Niger. It was a great reunion!  On to Africa!

Danja Bound

Some how writing this now feels almost forced. I haven't updated my blog since I left Africa and now the only reason I find I can make myself write again is that I am getting on a plane in the morning to go back. It's not that I haven't thought about sitting down to write a hundred times but what could I say that would compare with the work and the stories that went on with Mercy Ships. To be honest I have let this  idea take over since I returned from Africa. It's not as though nothing has happened, I have started a master's program in nursing, got a new job, moved to a new city, and even survived a blizzard.  I am settling into life here in Chicago but something feels a bit off. There is something missing. I think when you are doing something that fills you so fully and consumes all of you and then you step away from that, there comes with it this sense of loss and an emptiness. This transition has been something for me to really work through over these past seven months, and it has been anything but easy. God has been using this time to teach me new and different life lessons. The gypsy soul in me has been learning what it looks like to have to make an effort and invest with a longer term outlook. I will be in Chicago for years not months and although at first this caused me to have little heart palpitations, I am slowly coming to the point where the idea of being able to invest in relationships in the longer term is really exciting. God has blessed me with an amazing roommate, great classmates, and solid friends at church and somehow I have managed to find a community to live in that doesn't float, and I am very thankful for it!

So since I left Togo in July, I have known this trip to Niger was coming. I knew before I even came back to the states that this trip coincided with my spring break and there was no way I was missing it. In fact I have been clinging to it. When I got my plane tickets I was dancing around my apartment like a crazy person. Now it's here... it's tomorrow... and I am very excited. 

I have the opportunity to work with Worldwide Fistula Fund and their Danja Project.  I am headed out for two weeks to be doing more fistula work and reuniting with the old team of sorts even though it is with a different organization and in a very different setting. The same surgeon Dr. Steve will be our lead surgeon, and my fellow nurses are old friends, Beccy, Karin, and Ashley and I could not be more excited to be working side by side with them again caring for our ladies that we all love with all our hearts.  This trip will look a lot different as it is in a rural area at a land based clinic. The organization has been working on the building of the free standing fistula clinic in a small rural community of Danja, Niger. This trip, Lord willing, will be the final one before the clinic opens later this spring! We will be doing 5-7 days of surgery and hopefully helping about 15 women!

While there I will have some intermittent internet access so I will try and blog and post pictures as I can. Thanks in advance for all the prayers... I know that the Lord walks ahead and I am excited to follow Him on the adventure of the next two weeks!