Procrastination

So it turns out I am pretty good at procrastinating, excellent at it in fact. This is definitely one of my not so great traits. Somehow this thing happens when you start putting something off, the longer you put it off the easier it gets to just keep putting it off. I seem to always have at least 2 or 3 things sitting in the back of my mind I should be doing and that I am actively putting off. Updating this blog has been one of those things for about 3 months now ... some others include cleaning out my email/facebook inboxes, returning about 3 phone calls, reading through what assignments will be due this summer for my classes, and getting a text book for a class that started 9 days ago. Wow that all seem ridiculous when I write it down.

So if you are wondering if I am still freshly jet lagged in Niger ... nope. I have been there and back again, finished my second semester of graduate school, started doing clinic work for school, and am planning my next trip back to Niger with these last 3 months of blog procrastination time! 

I am so excited about the work going on in Niger with the Danja project, if I let myself think about it too much I get completely distracted from life and don't get a thing done. Worldwide Fistula Fund has been working on building this freestanding fistula hospital in rural Niger for the last couple years and we are soon going to see it operational! The trip in March was very successful. We were so blessed to be able to help 18 women in the 2 weeks we were there. At that time we were still using the facilities of the existing leprosy hospital that is run by the missionary organization SIM. Lord willing in August we will be using the new hospital facilities that are being built for the fistula hospital and then by November we plan to have the grand opening! The hope is that by November we can start continual operations. God has provided a gifted African surgeon who will be working with us, but a big prayer request is that we can find and train the remaining support staff. 

The March trip was really my first look and experience with fistula work in the land based setting. To say that it is different then working on the Mercy Ship is an understatement. It has different challenges and different strengths but I think that this model will in the long run be a much more effective method of providing good care with good follow-up for the ladies. The 2 weeks were fast and furious, filled with very long hot days and some long nights. It was filled with trying to pick up Hausa (the local tribal language), remembering how to drive a manual, and a camel ride. Just as a side note my favor Hausa phrase so far is Babu Wahala, it means no worries. 

On this trip the fact that this project needs someone who can make a longer term commitment of a couple years to come in and help get everything running, staff trained, and the kinks worked out came up. Now at this point in my life this is not an option for me, I am in graduate school and this has got to be the priority. Now of course the thought of possible long term service in my future has crossed my mind and the truth is I don't know if that will be my future life or not, but for now I am so grateful for those people like my friend Ashley who are praying and seeking about possibilities of long term service. 

I thought I would walk away from this trip with a better idea about if this is what I wanted to do with my life or not and the truth is I walked away with many more questions than answers. There were a couple of experiences on this trip that really helped open my eyes to what day to day land based missionary medical work looks like. There simply are not enough supplies and resources to do somethings we need to do, so you make the best of what you have. But that is easier said then done. It is completely maddening to be in those situations where "if I only had..." it would be so easy to fix said problem or situation. I distinctly remember one moment when our anesthesiologist had just gotten on a plane and we all of a sudden had two patients that needed to go back to the operating theater. I remember standing in the operating room holding this patient's hand while I looked the surgeon in the eye and he said, I'm not quite sure what to do. It is in those moments when you have to make the hard decision, those moments when you do the not so nice thing to a patient even though it is best for them, those moments when you simply have to make do that you really find out what your made of. In that particular moment all I could think to myself is do I have the stomach for this, can I do this? Well I guess the truth of it is I was doing it, I did make it though. The patients did fine and it all worked out, but it is in that moment that it hit me square in the eyes, if I continue to do work like this eventually in one of those moments it won't work out, something bad will happen, someone might die. This is a reality that I have to face and I have to work though.

So in the end I walked away with more questions but this thing I know, God walks ahead of me and He is in all those moments and I will trust Him to guide me through it all. 

To see all my pictures from my trip check out my facebook album.