Josephine

One of the realities of VVF is that not everyone will be healed. As hard as we try some of the women will go home in the same condition they came to us in. These cases are the ones that stick with you because they break your heart.  My head knows that God has it all in His hands, and I trust that even though I cannot begin to understand why these women are brought to us only then to have their surgeries fail, that God sees the big picture when all I can see is what's in front of my face. But even though I know this, when I have to sit across from a women I have come to love and have to say I am sorry there is nothing more we can do right now to help, it makes my heart ache to the core. 

Of all the women from last year in Benin that stick out in my mind, Josephine sticks out as the one who broke my heart the most. I don't know what it was about her. Maybe her quiet fierceness and her mischievous grin, but she found her way into a special place in my heart. When she came to us she had already been leaking for 5 or so years and had a previous attempt at repair. We operated on her not once but two separate times. Both time failed. Upon final discharge last year we gave her a card to return to Togo hoping we could try again. 

Our first screening was on May 24th, Josephine was on my list of potential patients to return from Benin but she didn't come. On Tuesday I get a page that their is a patient down on the dock that missed screening. At this point we had a very long waiting list and had already fully scheduled the first 4 weeks of surgery. So I put on my I am sorry but screening was yesterday and today is too late face and I went down to the tent on the dock. I am looking around for where the patient might be and I hear a familiar voice call my name. AHHHH Josephine!!!!!   I asked her why she did not come the day before,  she had been help up at the border and just now had made it. 

I went inside and asked Dr Steve if he would at least see her. He was in between cases and said yes bring her in lets do a dye test. (This is the diagnostic procedure we use to tell if the women has a fistula) We brought her in and the test was positive she did still have a hole that needed to be fixed.

We did a little adjusting of the schedule and were able to do her surgery the next week!  This was surgery number 4 so I told myself not to get my hopes up. The chances of a successful surgery go down with each attempt. I kept telling her not to break my heart (of course she couldn't understand me and would just smile back). Her surgery went well and there were no problems post operatively! Josephine was dry!  Her catheter came out and she remained dry and could for the first time in 7 years stand up and not have urine dripping down her leg! 

She stood at her dress ceremony and gave a beautiful testimony of faith and healing. She gave praise to the exact place it is due, to our heavenly Father and Healer. At the close of each dress ceremony members of the crew go and pray with each of the women, I went and prayed with Josephine. I kneeled down in front of her and she rested her forehead on mine and held my hands. I prayed that God will bless her steps from here and use her story to impact those around her and that He will continue to hold Josephine in his hands. Although she couldn't understand a single word I said she quietly said Amen along with me.